That desperate feeling of being on your own.
Feeling deeply lonely.
Again.
It’s Saturday night and once again you are stuck at home with no cool friends to hang out with.
Your social life sucks.
Yet you know everyone else is having a fab time.
So you begin to wonder — maybe there’s something wrong with me?
Am I not worthy of having fun too?
How is it that other people can make new friends so easily? Did they have some magic sauce?
And how am I ever going to make friends with some cool people?
I too was like you once — no cool friends and lots of time spent in misery on my own in front of the telly.
Then one day I had a life-changing aha moment.
No one was going to find me at home and ask to be friends!
I had to get myself out there. And go to places where all the cool people were hanging out.
I just had to learn what they did to make friends.
And I did.
It wasn’t magic.
But it seemed liked magic.
Now you too can learn how to make new friends with my 7 magical tips:-
1. Dazzle Them with Your Smile but Don’t Blind Them
The first thing you can do to create a connection with someone new is smile.
Smiling is such an icebreaker as it will reassure the other person and create a warm feeling all around. Usually, it’ll trigger a smile back from them — and you’ll then be on your way to connecting.
Your smile should be warm and welcoming — not a goofy smile which could be disarming for some people!
Do this next time you are in a crowd of strangers — smile gently and see what reaction you get back.
2. Rubber Stamp Their Name in Your Head
To most people, the sound of their own name is the most beautiful in the world!
So when you first meet someone, ask them their name and then be sure to remember it. If their name is unusual, ask them how it should be correctly pronounced, and even ask where it is from.
Be sure to address them by their name early on in the conversation — that will help you remember it.
If it helps, write down their name if they haven’t given you their business or personal card.
3. Make Eye Contact: Gaze at Them (But don’t Stare)
When you are talking to this new person, do look them in the eye and maintain eye contact as appropriate.
This will show them you are interested in what they are saying — and will also help you follow what they are saying.
You don’t want to spook them out by fixedly staring into their eyes either!
To get used to the idea of looking people in the eye, practice looking into your own eyes in front of a mirror.
This can be quite a confrontational exercise for some people, but it will do wonders for your self-acceptance — and will transform how deeply you connect with people.
4. Remember: Two Ears, One Mouth — Use Them Accordingly
The greatest gift you can give any person is your undivided attention.
So when you meet a new person, focus completely on that person and being present.
Remember to listen to them much more than you speak yourself. They’ll sense that you have their full attention and they’ll warm towards you.
Be genuinely interested in other people.
Stop your mind from wandering, focus on what they are saying and make the other person feel important. Your undivided attention tells them that you genuinely value them.
By fully listening to them, you’ll also get to know what’s important to them, and you can build rapport and respond accordingly.
5. Talk to Their Heart and Not Just Their Head
As you listen, build empathy and rapport with your new friend.
Focus not just on the words but the nuances of what they are saying. For example, do they sound excited or bored when they talk about their job?
You will also pick up clues and remember what to talk about later in your conversation — they will be impressed with what you have remembered.
By truly empathising with the other person, you will get to understand better their point of view.
And remember, people just adore those who are interested in their point of view!
6. Look to Be of Service to Them
As you get to know someone better, look for ways of helping and supporting them, perhaps by referring them to a friend who could be interested in their services.
Look for ways of connecting new friends with any existing like-minded friends.
If you have promised to do something for them, make sure you do so promptly — you will soon create a reputation as someone who is highly connected, someone who can be trusted and someone who delivers.
At the same time, remember that you are “helping” them to help themselves — empowering them rather than becoming a crutch they can take advantage of.
Also, remember that you are not there to “fix” them.
7. Be an Energiser Bunny and Not A Downer
Everyone likes to be around someone positive, energetic and bubbly, rather than someone who is a merchant of doom and gloom.
At a networking or social event, who would you rather speak to — the happy confident looking person or the one who looks miserable?
Life is too short to go around with a miserable face.
So be careful to never dump your stuff on others!
Also, only say good things about others — never gossip as it will inevitably come back to you and affect your friendships.
Become known as a positive, upbeat person with integrity, who doesn’t gossip and can be trusted.
Your Social Life Will Never Suck Again
So there you go — you can now magically transform your social life.
No more lonely Saturday evenings, sitting around in front of the telly and twiddling your thumbs wondering what to do.
Instead, imagine hanging out with crazy new friends in fun places and having the time of your life.
Imagine meeting some cool people who genuinely want to hang out with you and do new, fun and exciting activities.
Imagine going to new social events and meetups and having such a busy social life that you can even be selective what you choose to do, and who you hang out with.
Your journey from being lonely to becoming a social butterfly has begun.
You are in for some amazing times with some wonderful and fun new friends.
You’ve got this — your life will never be the same again.
Go out, make new friends and create a fun social life — you know you are so worth it.